Selfless Love or Self-Interested Love?

(written on November 22, 2019)

Lust is nothing but self-interested love. It is passionate desire meant for one’s own sense gratification. Selfless love on the other hand is doing a service to the other person for their benefit, specifically Lord Krsna. Selfless love is unconditional, meaning that there are no conditions or expectations in the relationship. The difference between the two is described in the Chaitanya Charitamrita Adi Lila 4.166 that, “The object of lust is only the enjoyment of one’s own senses. But love caters to the enjoyment of Lord Kṛṣṇa, and thus it is very powerful.”

The gopis are the best example of selfless love for Krsna. However, it is very hard to understand such pure love for Krishna and many people misunderstand the relationship between the gopis and Krsna to be similar to a mundane relationship. Hence, it is said in the Krsna book that, “From the viewpoint of metallurgy, gold and iron are both metals, but the quality is completely different. Similarly, although the rāsa dance and Lord Kṛṣṇa’s association with the gopīs appear like the ordinary mixing of young boys and girls, the quality is completely different. The difference is appreciated by great Vaiṣṇavas because they can understand the difference between love of Kṛṣṇa and lust.”

Lust is not only sexual desire, it refers to anything considering material attachments. For example, when one thinks that oh, this is my family, my country, my children, my house, my job, my car, etc. Even that is a symptom of lust. Lust can be overcome by giving up desires for sense gratification, “A person who has given up all desires for sense gratification, who lives free from desires, who has given up all sense of proprietorship and is devoid of false ego – he alone can attain real peace.” Giving up sense gratification fully can only be done by taking up Krishna consciousness.